Recently, my life has been made miserable. Okay, let me start at the beginning. Apparently, at some point or another, I thought it would be a great idea to live in Wren Hall. Here at Tufts, this means I actually thought it would be a swell decision to live in a compact little suite with nine other men of my choice. Though I have a good group of friends and I am, in retrospect, happy with my decision, there is little alone time. And herein lies the problem…
One of the kids in my suite, who shall remain nameless (*cough* Jack Hatchett *cough*), went home for this entire semester because he decided to switch out of the School of Engineering into the School of Arts and Sciences. A wise decision indeed. Yet, what was not a wise decision was the decision to go home without really any plans of what to do for an entire four months. Thus, Jack Hatchett has dedicated his time to making the lives of his former suite mates miserable by sending us countless ways to procrastinate. It all started with a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Bracket (SI Swimsuit Bracket). That was harmless enough. But the real kicker was AdultSwim.com’s new game, Robot Unicorn Attack.
To put it simply this game already has 1.8 million plays. The majority of which have come from my suite.
The game is a form of Helicopter, but instead of a helicopter, you are controlling a robot unicorn. There are only two buttons, Z and X. Z is jump and X is dash. The strategy is to jump from one rock to the other without crashing your robot unicorn. When you see a star, press X to dash through the star and get extra points. You get two jumps in the air, but you get a dash after every jump and a jump after every dash. What makes the game difficult is that your robot unicorn gets increasingly faster as you play. What makes the game harder is that, as you get far, shimmering dolphins dart across the bottom of your screen to distract you. What makes the game addictive is the combination of all of these things and the soundtrack, the song “Always” by Erasure. Here’s the link: Always-Erasure.
Now, imagine hearing that song all day long, and tell me you wouldn’t be miserable.
Anyways, here’s the game. PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK: Robot Unicorn Attack.